~My Fave Sex Education Books~
For all things sex, sexuality, relationships, eroticism, and communication!
When it comes to sex, sexuality, relationships, and communication, it can be tricky to find education about what exactly you're looking for. Think of this article as your one-stop-book-shop for all things ~sex education~
I recommend this book to literally everyone—clients, family, friends! For a lot of folks, this book is the perfect resource for starting to understand their bodies when it comes to sex and sexuality. Emily Nagoski so perfectly normalizes how differently everyone's bodies function, and she gives language to all the confusing thoughts about sex that we all have. This book helps you feel normal and understood—plus, if you have a partner, I highly recommend reading it together! It can be helpful for each person in the relationship to learn a similar language when talking about sex. This can help conversations go more smoothly, allow each person to understand each other better, and help people overcome obstacles more easily.
This read is fabulous for helping uncomfy bedroom talk feel far more normal and approachable. Vanessa Marin and her husband, Xander, give so many examples and scripts to help get the ball rolling. I'm not just talking about ~steamy~ sex conversations—they chat about all things sex maintenance and give helpful language to all the discussions around sex. This is an excellent read for couples because the book also includes exercises!
This book is all about sexual arousal and what ~really~ turns people on. It isn't necessarily about sex but more so about how our brains work and how everything can affect our erotism—it helps us understand how we function and why. While we are in an era of sexual liberation, we are still learning about how our sexual brains work. This book is an analysis of 1,000 stories of peak sexual experiences (it's SO interesting). It's essential for de-shamifying kinks, unique turn-ons, and more!
This book is basically filled with everything you could ever possibly wonder about dating. Allison is kind, intentional, and practical and makes all this information feel very approachable. I listened to the audiobook version narrated by Allison Moon herself! I highly recommend listening because Allison is so engaging and fun and makes learning feel exciting. Even if you aren't currently dating, I still recommend it! The language in this book normalizes and educates about topics that are usually a bit taboo (but really shouldn't be!), like STIs, testing, sex maintenance, preferences, and more!
While this book was written with polyamory in mind, it's an incredible read for everyone because it provides so much beneficial language for relationships. One thing I love most about non-monogamous language is how practical, intentional, and consensual it is. It is wild to me that a lot of monogamous resources are just now picking up on this! It strips down sex and relationship communication to be efficient and approachable—which is sooo valuable. Something I chat with clients about regularly is how sex maintenance should be like any other kind of maintenance. But since we never learned this language, communicating feels much more challenging and personal. I have read this book twice because I loved it so much!
Esther Perel is genuinely one of the most influential people in the world of sex and relationships today! Her research specializes in erotic intelligence and discovering what it is that makes lust come alive. Mating in Captivity humanizes sex and desire in a way that feels exciting to learn about while simultaneously de-shamifying stigmas. I also listened to this book via audiobook and recommend it if that's your cup of tea! Esther herself reads it—I love listening to educational books read by the authors themselves because of their intentional inflection and the random little extras they toss in.
This is an honorary mention I have yet to read, BUT if enough people are interested in a virtual book club... we could have a special space for that here on Substack! If you're a HELL YES for book club, send me a little message, and we'll get something set up! :)
With love,
